July 11, 2015 (4 days before my due date) was the day Gavin and I could officially move into our new home. It had been a long road for us to reach this point and I was beyond ready and excited to get it as ready as I could before our little one decided to join us. It was hot and I was experiencing some pretty heavy cramping, but it didn't stop me from walking to the nearest store for cleaning supplies. I was suprsingly able to get alot done, but by the time Gavin got home from work, had to rest. It wasn't long before the contractions started...from 5 to 8:30 they were few and irregular, so I wasn't too concerned. From 8:30 pm that night, however, they were a regular 10 minutes apart, lasting a minute and a half or so. As you would imagine, I was up all night, and by 6 in the morning my contractions were about 6 minutes apart and definitely getting more intense; it was then that I woke Gavin up and texted members of my family that it wouldn't be long. Oh, how wrong I was. My contractions regressed to about 7 or 8 minutes apart, though still regular. My parents were planning on bringing over my furnitre to help us move in that day, and I told them we might as well still go for it since Forest was taking his time! By 1:00 in the afternoon, the contractions were back to being 5-6 minutes apart and pretty painful...not to mention I'd been dealing with them for 16 hours. We then decided to head to the hospital.
When we got there, after answering a handful of questions, they checked to see how dialated I was, and was extremely discouraged to find out I was only 2 and a half cm dialated. Because it would be a while, and I hadn't slept since Friday night (we were now Sunday afternoon) and the contractions kept coming regularily, they gave me a little Morphine so that I could sleep a little in the hospital. I slept almost two hours before waking up to then be sent back home. I felt a little better having had slept some but was growing increasingly anxious to meet our little boy. Things became a bit of a blur from here on in...I remember trying to eat what I could, and laying on the couch with Gavin, counting contractions and trying to remain relaxed. Eventually he lit some candles and ran me a bath, which helped relax me some. I need to pause and just say how amazing Gavin was throughout this entire experience. He took such amazing care of me throughout the entire pregnancy and labour...It would have all been impossible without him and his sweet, selfless ways.
Between 8-8:30, I was in the bath when my contractions were regularily 3-4 minutes apart now. They were certainly even stronger at this point and so once again we went back to the hospital...They discovered I was 3 and a half cm dialated now and so I was admitted. I was excited now...I thought it certainly wouldn't be long at this point (again, I was wrong). I laid in the hospital bed, with Gavin, my mom and sister by my side, still counting contractions, which were rediculously close now...Everyone was fantastic, the nurses were wonderful and accomodating, and my family was supportive and helped maintain the positive environment Gavin and I wanted our son to be born in.
Soon, my doctor (also really wonderful) came in to speak with me, which I remember very little of, and asked if I would like to have my water broke to spead along delivery. I happily agreed,as I'd been waiting over 24 hours to reach this point! Once it was broke, my contractions became much mcuh stronger, something I hadn't even thought possible. I held on for some time, but once I stopped having breaks between these horribly painful contractions, it became unbearable. It had been two days since I slept, I'd hardly been able to eat, and now I felt my body failing me. I was shaking and felt ready to pass out at any moment. I just remember holding tightly to Gavin and the hospital bed crying, trying to breathe and praying for this baby to finally make its way to us. I lost track of the time by now, but since I could not get a break between contractions to even take a breath, I decided to have an epidural. This was 100% NOT a part of my birth plan, and even in the moment I was still trying to debate with mysef weather I could go on without it...but the reality was, I couldn't. I hoped as I was getting it, that I wouldn't regret this decision later on like I thought I would; but as I am writting this, thinking back, I can honestly say I don't. I've heard the horror stories and know very well it doesn't always work, but for me, it did. Almost immediately I could finally breathe and the pain was more bearable. Would I get it again? I'd rather not, however, if my body is in as poor of shape as it was for my first child, then definitely.
Time moved quicker now, and before I knew it, my body was telling me to push. I couldn't stop it if I tried. So I let the nurse know, and finally, it was time. The pressure was as intense as my contractions, and by this time the epidural had worn off, which I was completely fine with, BECAUSE IT WAS FINALLY TIME TO PUSH! It felt a little long at the time, but thinking back, it seems almost a blur. I remember being surrounded by nurses, listening to the doctor's voice as she told me when to push and when to stop and breathe. The baby's heart slowed and an oxygyn mask was placed on my face, which made me a little nervous but I didn't have much time to think on it. It was purely instinct at this point...my body knew what it was doing and I completely gave into it. I remember Gavin telling me he has brown hair, which made me happy (I dreamt of his little head filled with brown hair often during my pregnancy), and with a couple more pushes, I had a beautiful boy placed on my chest. I remember trying to get a peak at his little face, and feeling his head move about, trying to see as well. He was taken from me then, but I can only remember such an intense sense of relief and happiness. My boy was finally here with us. I waited so long for this, and finally it was happening.
He was given back to me, and immediately latched onto my breast...another moment I'd often dreamt of. Looking at his little face, feeling him in my arms and up against me, I finally reached a sense of fullness. Full of happiness, full of excitement and full of wonder. He was perfect and all ours.
And so at 3:07 am Monday morning, my sweet boy Forest had made his way earthside. From then it would still be two days until we could go home with him, but we cherriched every moment, and still do. I know how fast time will pass and I know I only get to live each day with him once. He is now 11 days old, as perfect as the first day I laid eyes on him, and I'm soaking up every single minute with him. The last couple of years have been full of adventure, uncertainly and confusion as to where I was headed and what I'm meant to do. Now that Forest is with me, the sense of adventure has hightened, the uncertainty doesn't matter, and the confusion gone. I have my boy, my family, and I am complete. It doesn't matter what comes next as long as I have my husband and child by my side. I have been reborn with the birth of my child and this love and sense of peace is everything to me. I am so excited for this new life of mine.